My new job

Friends, after a few months of being back to work since having Tara in October, I have made the decision to be a stay-at-home-mommy.  I am excited for this new transition to be at home with little T and to be a ‘home-maker’, but I am also terrified.  I’m 37 years old, and all I have ever known is work.  I don’t know HOW to be a home-maker! I’m looking forward to perfectly ordinary days with Tara – feeding her, getting her to sleep, reading and singing to her, and just watching this beautiful child grow up.  But as excited as I am for this new stage in my life, I am also full of worry.  All I have ever known is a schedule.  I have lived by a work schedule since I was 14.  When I am not on a schedule, I fall into days of not getting ready until 5 pm and feeling not so good, eating a LOT, feeling like a lazy bum, etc. etc.  In saying this, I also have moments where I can’t wait to exercise and lose the baby weight, read a book when baby is sleeping, organize my house, eat better, spend occasional lunches with Dave at Chick-fil-A (note: he eats there EVERY DAY with baby in tow), read the scriptures, experiment more with cooking and baking, serving friends and family, get myself ready to get pregnant again, etc, etc.  I just want to make sure I keep that momentum!

In leaving my work years behind, I will mourn the many adventures I have had traveling the world on the company’s dime, the amazing friendships made within the office and out, and the feeling of goals made and met.  I will miss it, but I do so look forward to this new chapter in my life.

I gave my ‘notice’ last month, and will have my last day as soon as someone else replaces me.  Soon enough, soon enough J

Tara

I can hardly believe it has been almost 10 weeks since our little Tara has come into our lives.  What an incredible addition she has been!
She started out at 8 lbs. 2 oz. and 20.5 inches, and she is now a whopping 11 lbs. 3 oz. and 23.5 inches long.  She is growing like a weed!
The time has gone by so quickly since she was delivered.  It feels like she has always been apart of our lives.  Funny how that is, eh? This little person only came into our lives a short time ago.  And boy, do we love her! I'll post some pics here, but the wee thing is waking from her nap, so I'd better go.

Life is beautiful - even more so with this perfect little being in our home. 

4 weeks and 5 days to go!

Letter to our baby girl.  One of many. 

Hi Baby,

Last night was our second night of pre-natal class. They talked mostly about the different types of labor and delivery, then they showed us a video of 4 different labors. Now, I have seen delivery before. I watched your Uncle Sean & Conn when they were born, your cousins Kalin and Kai, as well as your cousin Gavin. I remember watching Kalin emerge into the world from across the delivery room (I was 18) and being in tears. I all of a sudden understood the miracle of life. Each time I see a birth I get a little teared up, because I am in awe! Well, last night watching these births brought on even more tears as I thought of the moment when I will deliver you and hear your first cry. I couldn't help crying just thinking about it. I am so amazed at this body of mine - that it has been able to create you (with the help of your daddy, of course). This time last year I could never have imagined that I would be feeling you kick around in my tummy and cause me to go to the bathroom so often every night :) My life was very different then. Your daddy hadn't even proposed to me yet! And here I am now, pregnant with darling you. You are a miracle.

There are a lot of things I don't understand in life. I don't understand why you came to us so quickly, while others have had to wait such a long and agonizing time. I think if we had to wait for you many years, I would also be in agony. I don't understand Heavenly Father's time frame, but I have to trust it. Something I heard in church last week is "Do your best, and trust in the Lord's timing". I hope that we can teach you and help you to understand the Lord's timing too. It's not easy to wait on his time frame, but he does know what is best for us - for each of his children as individuals. I'm so grateful for that. I know he loves me as he loves all of his children. I hope you will feel that as you grow to understand his love for you.

I feel a great responsibility as your mommy to give you the best life I possibly can; to love you, nurture you, and teach you. Your daddy and I love you so much already, and we can't wait to hold you and just love you. There are a whole bunch of people who love you and are waiting to meet you - grandparents, aunties, uncles, cousins and friends. You are one lucky little girl!

Well, we still have a few weeks to go, but I wanted you to know again how much you are loved. We are so excited for the day when you finally come!


Love,

Mommy

33.5 weeks and counting

Hard to believe that I am actually in the 30's now.  It was hard to imagine back in the first trimester when I was sick all the time.  So grateful time is speeding up and we'll have a baby in our arms in no time at all! Yay, yay, and yay!!

The second trimester was fabulous.  I felt really good, and was mostly just tired - as is expected.  The third trimester has brought with it lots of fun stuff! Really, nothing was worse than the first.  I can't complain about this last trimester.  I will tell you, however, about some of the fun things that are experienced.  1) Rashes from the Summer heat (remind me not to be pregnant during the Summer again).  2) Wanting to eat or even drink a full glass of water and not being able to, due to the room the baby has taken in my tummy.  There is nothing worse than being so, so thirsty and feeling like I could throw it all up because my stomach just can't hold it all.  Meals are small (even though I crave eating a full meal), and are eaten more often.  3) Boob sweat.  Yes, I said it.  I dunna like it. 
4) Heartburn - ack! I had acid reflux before I got pregnant, and pregnancy has only exacerbated the problem - especially the third trimester.  I have to be so cautious of what I eat.  No caffeine whatsoever, no fried foods whatsoever, and very little citrus.  Even on a 'bland' day I can potentially have problems.  The thing I hate is waking up in the middle of the night (it's usually when I have changed to my right side - big mistake) and almost choking on the acid that has infiltrated my throat.  Oh, it's so horrible! 5) I can no longer be content just hanging out at home after work.  Lately the normal routine has been giving me anxiety.  I have found myself looking for projects to do, people to visit, books to read, etc.  For those of you who know me well, this isn't the norm.
6) Emotions are right there on the surface.  For those most part throughout this pregnancy I have felt really good emotionally.  Of course there have been moments, but nothing out of the ordinary.  This third trimester my down days have been a bit more often than normal.  Oh, my dear Dave must be weary of those days.  Sorry honey! 7) Round ligament pain.  Oh, this one is fun.  This is what makes me grunt or make a face every time I bend down, get in and out of the car, turn side to side at night, or get up from a sitting position.  There is pain, yes.  These ligaments are getting my body ready to have the baby.  This is what causes my pregnant waddling.  8) Stiff hands.  This is a weird phenomenon, but it actually feels like I have arthritis in my hands.  Crazy pregnancy hormones. 

I know there is more, but this is all I could come up with at the moment.  Lots of fun, huh! But seriously, I am thankful - so thankful to be pregnant right now and to have this little miracle growing inside of me.  I love her kicks and the fact that they are stronger every day.  I love our baby girl.  Can't wait to meet her!

27 weeks

It has been a while! I can hardly believe that we are already at our 27 week mark.  Our wee girl is growing, and with her my stomach, chest, behind, and oh, just about everything else.  It can get a little depressing, but I've decided that I am not going to be vain and let it get in the way of the happiness I feel about this baby girl.
Since about week 18 or 19 I have felt great.  I was done with morning sickness at 15 weeks and was very thankful to have that behind me.  Coming down with a horrible cold was almost worse than the entire time I was nauseated, however.  Luckily that was over in a couple of weeks, though it seemed like an eternity at the time.  The worst thing I feel now is complete exhaustion.  This growing baby gig can really take a lot out of a girl! And now since my uterus is a little bigger than a basketball, it doesn't give a lot of room for anything else - including food and water.  We went in for an ultrasound a couple of weeks ago, and she was just over 2 lbs. at the time, so she is probably in the almost 3 lb. range by now.  I feel her movements constantly, and I love it! I love that she is my constant companion throughout each day.  Dave and I can't wait to meet her!
Anyway, that's my update for now.  All is well.  Yay!

Sugar and spice and everything nice...

That's what our little girl is made of! True, true - we are having a wee baby girl.  We went in just to find out the gender of our babe yesterday.  The technician had to dig around for a while and wiggle her so that we could indeed see her girl parts.  I feel bruised today because of it :(  It was well worth it, though! We had thought we would be having a boy, but the last few weeks we started to doubt and really had no idea.  On my side of the family there are 7 nephews and one adorable niece, so I naturally figured that boys were in our favor.  Not the case, my friends! We are totally excited to meet our precious girl! She might have a name, but we haven't solidified it yet, and we may just keep it to ourselves anyway :) 
We can hardly wait to meet her! Here she is - isn't she just beautiful?!

The joys of pregnancy?

Before getting pregnant, I knew that there would be some un-fun things about it.  At least this is what I gathered over the years from friends and family, but I always thought I'd be able to handle things splendidly.  Let me just say that I was humbled.  From about week 6 I began the 'morning sickness'.  Of all pregnancy symptoms, this has been my very least favorite.  And by the way, it never happened in the morning.  I've never done well with nausea.  I knew this would be a difficult part, but I didn't know how difficult.  Feeling nauseated all day every day is not fun.  I really dislike it.  Even taking anti-nausea medication didn't totally take away the uneasy feeling of being sick - all of the time! Then of course the back-lash of taking the medication to make me feel better made me totally and completely constipated! I would try eating things that would agree with my stomach, but those things were definitely not fiber-rich foods.  I ate whatever I could keep down, and as you pregnant ladies know, if you don't eat, you are absolutely and totally ravenous! I've never known hunger like I have in pregnancy - and much more often too.  If you don't eat, you feel sick.  As a result, I have gained about 12 pounds thus far. 
AND, if you eat the wrong foods, you may end up with heartburn, which is miserable too. 

All of these things and more I have experienced in these mere 15 weeks.  I hope I don't sound like a complainer (sometimes I feel like one), but I really am so thankful to have this experience.  I just don't think I ever had as great an appreciation for women that have been doing this forever as I do now.  I could never know except by experiencing it for myself.  I will say that my prayers have become more frequent and more fervent, and my love for dear Dave has grown by leaps and bounds.  He has been an incredible support to me through these times.  Sometimes I just break down and cry because I'm so exhausted, or just exhausted of being nauseated.  He has been so patient with my lack of contributing to doing anything in the house, because once I come home from work all I can do is rest until it's time for sleep.  I love that husband of mine! He loves me mucho even though I'm turning into a hippo.  He's a wonder that Dave Dean. 

All in all, I am a happy girl, and just can't wait to actually feel this baby kicking inside of me (it has been kicking for weeks now, but I just can't feel it).  I can't wait to be a mommy, and to experience a whole different type of joy in the journey of life.  Yay!

Oct. 22nd - impending arrival

And just like that, we're pregnant! Before we got married, Dave and I had decided we would try for a baby right away.  At this age, I had no idea if I would even be able to get pregnant, so we thought we'd just see if it could happen.  I had thought a year or maybe more until it happened.  I have plenty of family and friends that have been unable to get pregnant, and I just wanted to make sure we used every bit of time we had to try.  Only a few weeks after we got married, I got a positive on a pregnancy test, and the next day we lost it.  It was hard, because there was a definite change in how my body felt before and after I lost it.  I was grateful, however, that I was even able to get pregnant.  I really thought it would take longer after that, but 4 weeks later (Valentine's Day), we got another positive.  A few weeks later we went in for our first ultrasound - since I am 36, it is a little more necessary.  We heard the baby's beautiful beating heart and realized this was really, really happening.  Another ultrasound at 11 weeks showed the baby was very actively moving its arms and legs.  It was the most surreal thing to see the movement on the ultrasound screen! I can hardly believe there is a baby within me.  We are so incredibly grateful for this baby and for the chance to experience this - especially when we know that so many have had difficulties getting pregnant.  We almost felt guilt that it was so quick for us. 
Well, things are progressing and we are now at 14 weeks.  We'll find out in two weeks what we are having.  Needless to say, we are excited.  We are nervous.  We are humbled.  We are grateful. 

The happy couple

Sadie, Sadie married lady!

Hi, I’m Erin Dean and I’m married! Waaaaaahoooooo! These 11 days that we have been married have been just wonderful. We spent a warm 7 days in the place I grew up (the first 10 years, at least), my beloved Hawaii. We had our first married Christmas in Hawaii as well. I must admit, I felt a little holiday displacement. We remedied that and bought a $4 fake tree and set it in our hotel room amongst the wrapped gifts we chose for each other from the swap meet. We had a $30 limit and got some good stuff.


I hardly have the time to write, but I just want to say how happy I am to have Dave in my life and to be his wife. His WIFE!! Wow, that’s going to take some getting used to.

More later.



The end.

10 days and counting...

We are about to get into single digits, folks! Holy moly, I'm having a really hard time realizing that marriage is right around the corner.  The little details of the reception, worrying about this and that have kept me from really thinking about what is about to happen to my life - to our lives.  I am so excited, nervous, calm, anxious, and just about every other emotion.  Here we go!

Sometimes we get engaged

Hi, I'm Erin and I'm engaged.  WOOOOOOOO!!!!! There was a time when I thought that little declaration on my blog would never be, but alas, it is.  I'm going to marry my amazing Dave! The date is December 17th in the Provo Temple, with a pre-wedding reception the night before.  Not a very common thing, I know, but I'm a little excited to do things backwards. 
Dave and I have known we would be married for a long time.  Living in UT can be tough when you've been dating more than a few months and don't have a ring on your finger.  As members of the LDS church, we abstain from many things - smoking, drinking, coffee, etc.  Another thing we abstain from is pre-marital sex.  This is something that is not easy as the world knows, but something that has been extremely important throughout our lives.  So, as is custom of 'Mormon's', as we are called, most marry soon after they know they will be married.  Hence, the pressure to get married.  And believe me, we have been feeling the pressure.  However, we wanted more time.  As all know, marriage is a HUMONGOUS step in life.  Neither of us have ever been married, and neither of us wanted to take this all-important step lightly.  We have taken a lot of time getting to know one another and getting to be certain that this was right for both of us.  Well, after all this time, we have figured out that marriage is right and we're ready for it!
Getting married in the temple is also a very important thing for us.  For those of you that don't know about our church, we believe that life goes on after death.  We believe that we will still progress after death, and we believe that families are eternal.  The temple is a place where we take the first step to becoming an eternal family.  You can learn more about temples here: http://lds.org/church/temples?lang=eng
I don't know what the future holds for Dave and I, but I have a hope of what it holds.  I know that whatever happens, no matter how difficult, we have a loving Father in Heaven who is aware of us and wants us to be happy in life. This is a great comfort to me. 

I am excited to begin my life with David D.  He is my home.

Sometimes I'm lucky.

Like the time my brother Shane and I won $1000 at our work summer party two weeks ago for doing this little ditty.

http://youtu.be/6MxIIhNgeRo

And then last week at my work's health fair, I won this.  A $189 value!

And tomorrow I'll be flying to this place (for work & some play) ...

Oh, and this place.

The not so lucky part? I won't get to see this guy for two whole weeks :(   I'll miss you, honey!

Overall, I'm a pretty lucky girl!

Introduction of my Dave...

I didn’t even realize I had not done a formal introduction of my Dave. Thanks to Malea for making me aware of it! Here’s a little history first of how we met.

Dave and I met a few years ago of all places in our single’s ward. Crazy, eh? I heard him speak in church one Sunday, and as he was introducing himself he said that he was a Math teacher at UVU. For those of you that know my history with Math, you will undoubtedly understand why I decided to write him off – even though he was a nice looking guy who appeared to be very normal. How could I possibly get along with a Math teacher, right? Well, within a few months I began going to get-togethers, and he was usually there. A friend of mine was interested in him, so I just kept my distance anyway. I mean, how could we possibly have anything in common?

A while later, we happened to find ourselves on the same cruise to Mexico. It was an LDS Singles cruise. I’ll tell you this; I wasn’t all excited to be there – since I had been recently disenchanted by a short relationship. Dating someone new was the absolute last thing on my mind. While on the cruise we spent a lot of time with Dave on the boat and on shore excursions. I thought he was a nice guy. He was always kind and considerate of everyone. I didn’t think much more than that, but I did take notice that he looked at me a little more than others. However, I wasn’t going to even let myself play that scenario out in my mind. Oh, one thing I did forget to mention – I noticed that he had a very nice build, which never hurts!

We all had a great time on the cruise, and upon returning home, I began to realize that I missed not seeing Dave. It was so nice having him around. He was such a calming presence (and still is).

Without boring you with the little details, Dave asked me out about a month later, and the rest, well, it’s history. We’ve been dating for 15 months now, and things are great!

Dave is originally from California. He moved to UT the same year my family moved from Hawaii. He is the 3^rd of 5 kids. He got his under grad at BYU, then his masters at the University of Houston. He is a full-time Math teacher at UVU. He’s a very active guy. He loves the sun and continually shames me with his tan skin. He is handsome, kind, good-natured, intelligent, funny, sensitive, logical, and he gets along with pretty much everyone he meets fabulously. What I love about Dave the most is that I can just be myself with him. On any given night, you can find us watching the O’Reilly Factor and eating Hamburger Helper Beef Stroganoff or a good steak. We’re fairly easy going.

Yep, I love this man.

You may leave this introduction asking, “When are you getting married?”

I only have this to say…

Someday :)

You’ll find it all here!

B-day

It was this man's b-day on Friday. I sure do love him and am so thankful for him in my life.

Happy Birthday, Dave!